My Own Women’s Day
For most of Vietnamese women, the dates 8 March and 20 October are when femineity and gender equality will be celebrated and appreciated. For me, the date of my own “Women’s Day” is 30 November, 2006.
Transformation
That is when I liberated a woman bound by prejudices, bias and trapped within. That was the day, I stepped out of my fear and the constraints of traditional values imposed on a girl born in Vietnam. And stepped in to creating the life of an independent woman who knows how to love herself and do what she wants.
That day, I left my hometown Hanoi and arrived in Ho Chi Minh City. Born, and raised in the capital city I had a stable job but like many other girls wanted to start a journey of independence and become a woman I wanted to be. Moving from Hanoi to Saigon may sound very simple to many millennials but to me 15 years ago it was a transformation.
Why?
Constraints of Tradition
From the age of 13, I was taught by my traditional Hanoian mother to cook, clean and take care of a small family - ready to be a wife and a mother. No one ever asked about my dreams, passions and how I wanted to live my life. It was set in stone, that whoever showed up at the doorstep asking for my hand by my mid-twenties would be my husband.
At the age of 24, like most of Vietnamese girls, I was directed to have an 8-to-5 job without expectations of a livable income, career progression; or how to develop myself professionally. The main expectation was the traditional pressure to get married, have children and become the family filter.
Until my ‘day’, I used to live under these expectations and this picture of the future.
Challenging the Questions
There are many statements aimed to ’brainwash’ girls every day such as:
- “Women are only evaluated by their husbands”;
- “A maiden doesn’t need to study hard, as it doesn’t help her to get a good spouse”; and
- “Successful men don’t like women who are too smart and strong” …
Many similar statements surrounding my youth have made me struggle to find out my true self. The questions that stuck in my mind have been:
- “Getting married and having children is compulsory to all women or just one of the choices?”,
- ”If, I continue to work hard, study, be independent and enjoy my life, can I create my own value?”, and
- ”Should I be called ’leftover’ as being single after 30 years old?” ...
Challenging these questions has been a journey of empowerment where I have built my own answers that empower me to a lifestyle that makes me a happy woman.
Single Day to Hundred Years
I have followed the motto: ”Carpe Diem” or “Seize the day”. Whereas I enjoy every single day of my life as if tomorrow would be the last day; and plan for my future as if I were going to have a hundred years ahead.
I have learned and realized that there is a power in being a woman. The journey today is to find the questions and answers that enable me so I can continue to learn both personally and professionally.
Empowering Each Other & Ourselves
I have been fortunate to meet many women as well as the men who have always supported and encouraged me on my journey of self-liberation.
There was once a man who told me, "Women have such a power – it is as soft as water but so strong it can erode rock mountains - that power comes from their hearts."
Although, I celebrate my own Women’s Day, I live a Women’s Day every day where I am empowered and happy.
Today I live a life for me.
